if i mutually follow you it’s a free pass to talk to me whenever you want
you can literally just send me an ask saying “piss” 10 times
jdmazz replied to your post:
it’s not hard to love you it’s the easiest thing in the world for me tbh < 3
amber you are seriously one of the best thing that ever happened to me <3
it’s the crippling fear of not knowing where your life is heading, what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it. it’s the chest-aching, headache inducing, constant pressure just below your spine, the squeezing hands on your shoulders that remind you there’s nothing to be ambitious about.
it’s the way your world seems to be caving in and the people around you are shadows, blurring motions that pass with every step you take, none of them important, none of them lasting. as they pass, the traces of a smile are left on your face, a shadow of a movement you haven’t practiced in months. you feel worn out, stretched along the pavement, past the flexibility of your own mind and into an abyss that makes you want to cry until you physically are incapable of going on.
they expect you to be wise. reasonable. they also expect you to be everything you don’t want to be. you don’t want to meet the expectations of your grandmother who tells you that it’s live or die. you don’t want to listen to your mother, who tells you that it’s time for you to settle down and live a normal life. you don’t want to listen to your father, who tells you that you need to be responsible. you refuse to give in, to hand yourself over on a silver platter so they can shape you into something that you’re not.
but as you’re fighting, it feels like every breath of air you take makes your lungs collapse in on themselves. you want to live and feel free as a laugh escapes from your lips. you want the touch of another person, the pressure of their finger tips thrumming just below your skin that reminds you that it’s worth it to be alive, that being you is sufficient. you want to have a schedule and live healthy and have something to look forward to on a daily basis.
you want everything they tell you is necessary and it feels like you’ll never get it.